If we lived in a candy filled world.

I know this sounds great living in a candy filled world with chocolate lamp posts and cars made out of flumps but if this was to really happen. Everybody would be obese, the dentist would be king and the fittest people in the world would be diabetic. That would be a proper crazy world to live in.

I had a dream once that my teeth had the weirdest density, the only way I can compare them to anything would be like a swimming pool of custard and I know this sounds odd but I have a point here. Custard is a liquid, however it's density is high enough that if enough pressure is applied it can turn into a solid, which means if you're fast enough you can literally run across a pool of custard. How funny would it be if you filled a swimming pool with custard and seen somebody climbing onto the diving board, would you really want to tell them? Cause you know it would be the funniest thing you'd see in a long time. The confusion and pain mixed together into one epic fuck up.

Anyhow, my teeth dream. So my teeth were fine until one day I woke up and had breakfast. Now, I'm not normally a breakfast person at all and it probably all started with school. Being a school, you're not allowed to typically eat in class because somebody must have brought in skittles and threw them off a teacher or you're chocolate muffin eating abilities is most definately distracting the single teacher in her 40s and all your fat class mates. The reason I never ate before going to school was because truth be told, I'd rather have those 15minutes in bed.

Ironically I am eating breakfast right now, a bacon and egg baguette, I was thinking about it on the way to work and as much as it pains me to say it, it's kind of crap, I even kind of knew it would be but I had convinced myself when walking down that it would make my day but I think I'm just clutching at straws. Clutching at straws? What does that even mean, sounds like something a dirty old woman would do whilst getting rattled in a barn in the Victorian era.

Anyhow, again, my teeth. Shit, I feel like I've built this up too much now. So my teeth were all bendy, solid when nothing was touching them but bendy when I bite into something. Imagine, the feeling in your mouth of all your teeth bending out of shape, it was fucking disgusting, half of them ended up falling out. I looked like Austin Powers mouth on speed.