If I were to be reincarnated as an animal, I'm really unsure what I'd want to be. I probably would want to be something scary. I'm thinking a lion but I'd be a badass lion but I do fear my life would be a repeat of the Lion King.
My earlier choices were going to be something like a bird because I don't think flying would ever get boring but the more I thought about it, the more I think that birds must be sick of flying. The same way what I imagine driving must be like after 5 years. How long do birds even live for? Do you get old birds than can't really fly right cause in my very limited experience of bird watching, I've never looked at a bird and thought 'christ, what's his problem?'
Then I was thinking of the pervy option like a fly or a spider but there are severe flaws here. 1) I'm not a pervy person at all. 2) Why the hell would a spider ever want a perv? and 3) I'd probably get killed rather quickly. Although the idea of scaring a naked woman who is ultimately 1000 times bigger than me, would be well funny.
I also, thought about being an animal everybody loved but the only animals people seem to really love are endangered animals. Sure, people love cats and dogs but that's far too 50/50 and I'd get bored shitless being a dog. Although I reckon if I was a smart enough and cute enough dog I'd be a like wee bastard. Hiding the remote, pissing in slippers, unplugging the alarm clock. The usual mischievous dog stuff. Anyhow, in no possible way would I want to be an endangered species. Think about the pressure of having to save everybody, mind you I'd just do the job like a man.
Haha, there was a funny story in the news about 3 animals of whatever kind in this zoo. Very few of them are left in the world, so they're 2 guys put in with this girl hoping they'd mate. After a while nothing happened. The 2 guy animals turned gay, haha. I'll need to find a link for this, this sounds far too fabricated. Actually, google is rubbish these days and I'm far too hungover to ever find it. Just take my word for it.
I'm trying to think what other animals I could have been. I've made my views on Giraffes quite clear and I wouldn't want to be an elephant or anything really heavy. Just looks like too much effort to move.
You know what, I actually cannot even be fucked doing this. 7 hours ago, I was in a noodle bar eating chips, rice and curry sauce. I woke up 3 hours ago and started woke almost straight away. Don't get me wrong, it was well worth it but I can't really concentrate. St Patrick's day, what the fuck is that all about. I love the fact that all I seemed to drink was Spanish beer and Russian Vodka. Nothing good has ever came out of Ireland. They're greatest achievement was the Titanic and look how successful that was.
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