Deja Vú

It's fucking scary but kind of awesome. Every now and again I'll go through days and of endless deja vú (How amazing is that saying though? it sounds very exotic and like the name of a completely shit story wrote by a 14 year old for an English short story) For example, the other day I was in work and this weird looking woman came in and it all seemed very familiar, although it could just be that Hamilton is filled to the brim with honking looking people. Anyhow, after she ordered whatever, it all felt very familiar again and this happened again later with another lady.

So, how can this be scary, if anything you'd think it would be an advantage, maybe you can see into the future? Or maybe, it means you're going to die shortly?

When I was 12, I came to the conclusion that someday I was going to die. Yes, I know that sounds like a thing that I should have known from the age of 6 onwards but I don't mean it like that, I mean I really started thinking into it. What happens once you die? What happens to your body? What happens to your soul and thoughts and experiences? Do they simply they just end and fade away into complete nothingness?

So I thought the idea of us just being here, simply cause, sounded even less plausible than the god idea so I thought I'd investigate a 3rd party solution. Also, the idea of a heaven and hell does not interest me for 2 reasons. 1) There is like a 50/50 chance I go could to the burny fire and 2) It sounds boring as fuck.

Seriously, imagine spending infinity doing anything, it's boring. So I think if I did die. (If? lol) that I'm just going to assume that I'm having a big sleep and it'll be grand.

This seemed to sum everything up well until I started thinking about reincarnation and what if my life was on an endless loop? It would be like that bit in pacman where you dive of to the side and come back into the same room. Because of these thoughts, I have just assumed that my life is going on repeat and this just may be the last play.

So why would deja vú scare me? You know when you study for something, the things you remember the most are the last things you read? Well deja vú, kind of reminds me of that, what if deja vú was just the last memories of my life? What makes it even worse, is that deja vú is always over something completely shit.

An old munting looking woman buying a tshirt being my last experience before I die, fuck that!