I might start a new blog

Something about all the gadgets and weird shit I find on the internet. I may even use pictures too.

The Real Hustle & Terrorism.

First off, the new guy who narrates this problem sounds slightly retarded. Or maybe it's an accent, I cannot tell but either way, you're trying to portray a cool tv series, where people scam cunts and then you have this guy doing the voice over. It would be like Ocean's Eleven where Matt Damon actually acts like: Maaaaaaaattttttt Daaaaaaamon, just like Team America. It simply wouldn't work....well.

Anyhow, the people in the real hustle have just completely shat all over their social life. Either I have watched the show enough to recognise them and thus I assume everybody else knows or the show really is popular enough but I digress.

The point I'm making is this, nobody will ever want to talk to them or be near them, simply because you'll have the feeling that once you're done talking, you're wallet will be missing and you'll look a right knob on tv.

On the plus side for these people though, if the BBC decides to seriously cut back their wages and they have to use public transport (Which is utter shite) then they could easily get a seat on any bus or train, nobody would want to sit next them. Christ, even the terrorist with a bomb in his bag will move seat in fear of it being stolen.

I liked the idea that Susan Boyle is helping the war on terror as most terrorists now know what a virgin looks like and it isn't pretty. And why would you even want to have 40 virgins anyway? That would be like going on a flight and hearing the captain say:

Blah blah blah blah, we're heading to Amsterdam (which I am tomorrow) blah blah, the weather will be lovely (Which it better) blah blah blah.......oh and by the way, this is my first time.

You'd shit yourself but I don't know if you'd shit yourself enough that you'd want to be the first cunt to actually leave the plane in fear.

Or worse, you walk into a hospital and this happens.

Nurse: Hi there, you in for yer vasectomy?
You: Yeah, haha....I'm scared.
Nurse: Well this is your surgeon and he'll take you through what will happen.
You: Great, haha....I'm scared.
Surgeon (who I imagine looks like Turk): I've never done this before.
You: aye, see ye later pal.

Now in the back of your mind, you know everything would go to plan, probably but it wouldn't go to plan as well as somebody with a bit of experience. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here.

So I'll sum it up with this. All terrorists are ugly cunts, they are. No terrorist has ever flashed up on the news and somebody has thought, wow, he's actually good looking, nobody has ever even said, wow, he's average looking. This is why they look forward to getting their hole and the only way this seems to happen is by suicide bombing apparently.

Maybe it was a joke that got out of hand.

Like the time I told my pal to shave sideways, as in the blade going across the face in a slashing motion. I would have felt bad if it wasn't so funny.

Thank you Jamster!!

Thank you so much for inventing a living breathing wallpaper can tell me how much battery I have left in my phone. Really, thank you!!

Before, I'd be surprised when my phone suddenly cut out but now I'm not, I simply have to close off all the menus and windows and there it is, how much battery I have left. All this for a mere £4.50 a week until I decide to cancel my subscription. While I'm at it, I could have some of those animals licking my screen, or hopefully they'll have disabled people licking windows sooner.

I hope that somebody at R&D tells them that all phones have this function to tell the user how much battery they have left and it's nothing new. It's been around since the 80s when the mobile phone was invented with a GUI.

Honestly, I thought I had an easy job but this just rips the cunt.