I remember when I was younger, this was actually about 6months ago and how had I all these things I seemed to care about and now 6 months on, I really couldn't give a crpa about.
Examples;
I used to have a list of websites I'd go on about gaming and technology news and check them everyday. Now I'd be lucky if I check them fortnightly.
Computer has broke and I can't be arsed fixing it.
Aerial has broke for my telly, can't be bothered buying a new one, don't miss it at all.
Tv in general and that includes all my favourite shows, Lost, Prison Break, 24 etc etc. Stopped wtaching them all, that's bveen 2months now without a single episode.
Gaming in general. I have games I got at christmas that I haven't even touched yet. Out of the past 6 games I've bought, I reckon that I've only collectively (Minus fifa 09) played for 5 hours.
It could just be that I'm getting older and a lot of my priorities have changed over the past few months, obviously for the better otherwise I wouldn't have bothered my arse to change.
It just feels a little strange to look back is all.
Thursday 9 April 2009
Panic Attacks
I have the slightest of slightest feelings that I may have it. I don't care for it much at all.
Edit: I should probably expand this a bit.
I think it's always been kind of underlying and it's been there for years, but it's very selective in when it decides to stick it's ugly head out but here is when it's happened recently.
It happened last week in the cinema, I was eating my popcorn then suddenly I get this overwhelming feeling that suddenly this massive room is tiny and I need to get out. Now with the majority of cinemas this would be fine but not here because A) The cinema was fully packed B) The cinema was on the third floor and C) I was at the back. Now usually the instinct in you would tell you to leave and go to a quieter less crowded room, i.e. the toilet. But I have this principle of never walking out on a movie for the toilet in case i miss something. It's not like I can pause it nor can watch it again for another 6months and usually if you do the description you get from the person next to you about what you missed is vague and the scene is probably very significant. I actually have another thought here I'll mention later.
It happened on the bus in Frankfurt going to the airport, although I felt sick. Seriously I have to stop taking 'medicine' from people, I went 16 years without taking a single pill or tablet, simply because I was sure it was physically impossible for me to swallow them yet I can scran like fuck and I have no problems eating gummy bears whole with a red lace tied around them and bringing them back up for nothing more than a giggle. Anyhow, I was on this bus and it was full, it was a 2 hour journey and it was filled to the brim with German people and I felt sick, very sick. So suddenly this bus journey which was at 6am should have been easy because I was sleeping but I wasn't. I was thinking, imagine I was sick here, all these people would see. Maybe I'll go to the toilet but there wasn't one. Maybe I'll ask the driver to stop but he doesn't speak English. Maybe I could be sick and nobody will notice as they're all asleep. I thought of this over and over for 2 hours and then I finally got some fresh air and all was well, kind of.
There are other times as well but those are the two main ones, the ones I'm prepared to talk about anyway. And it's weird because I'd say that in a nightclub I can usually be in my element which is weird because those are probably the most crowded and warmest places you can be besides the world's largest orgy.
I do get these feelings though, when I go out for dinner, I do not care for eating in front of people who are, shall we say significant and by significant I mean I have to make a good impression. Although now I'm a little bit older, I've come to realise that wine is my good friend and should take the nerves off although trying to down a bottle of wine without these people noticing can be difficult. I recommend big glasses.
What makes it worse, is that I become very aware of these situations and I start thinking of all the 'what if's' which being honest probably doesn't help because i'll probably think of the worst one and somehow try and make it happen but at least I know how to act. Usually I was just sick but to make the situation better I started to order cheaper things off the menu, I can't help but kind of laugh now at it all.
Anyhow, the thing I was going to mention earlier about toilets is that for some reason, I find it difficult to piss at a urinal and I haven't got a clue why. I don't have a problem pissing in public as Strathclyde Police will tell you and I don't have a problem getting my banger out. I think my ability to want to strip for no reason other than pretending it's Old School and that we're all going streaking could probably have been the reason why my ex stopped taking me to house parties but I'm not sure about that, hahaha.
If I need to piss when I'm out, given the choice I need to be alone at the urinal or in the cubicle which probably makes me look like I use a lot of coke when I'm out although I have a bladder the size of a....very big animal that doesn't piss a lot. Also, while we're on the subject of cubicles and coke, who's bright idea was it to marry these two together? It's as genius as it is stupid. Sure it's discreet and you can probably take a line at the same speed as you can do a shite but basically what you're doing is this.
You're sticking your nose down a place where some guy's arse was and taking a massive sniff of where people do a shite. It's really a little fucked up.
Edit: I should probably expand this a bit.
I think it's always been kind of underlying and it's been there for years, but it's very selective in when it decides to stick it's ugly head out but here is when it's happened recently.
It happened last week in the cinema, I was eating my popcorn then suddenly I get this overwhelming feeling that suddenly this massive room is tiny and I need to get out. Now with the majority of cinemas this would be fine but not here because A) The cinema was fully packed B) The cinema was on the third floor and C) I was at the back. Now usually the instinct in you would tell you to leave and go to a quieter less crowded room, i.e. the toilet. But I have this principle of never walking out on a movie for the toilet in case i miss something. It's not like I can pause it nor can watch it again for another 6months and usually if you do the description you get from the person next to you about what you missed is vague and the scene is probably very significant. I actually have another thought here I'll mention later.
It happened on the bus in Frankfurt going to the airport, although I felt sick. Seriously I have to stop taking 'medicine' from people, I went 16 years without taking a single pill or tablet, simply because I was sure it was physically impossible for me to swallow them yet I can scran like fuck and I have no problems eating gummy bears whole with a red lace tied around them and bringing them back up for nothing more than a giggle. Anyhow, I was on this bus and it was full, it was a 2 hour journey and it was filled to the brim with German people and I felt sick, very sick. So suddenly this bus journey which was at 6am should have been easy because I was sleeping but I wasn't. I was thinking, imagine I was sick here, all these people would see. Maybe I'll go to the toilet but there wasn't one. Maybe I'll ask the driver to stop but he doesn't speak English. Maybe I could be sick and nobody will notice as they're all asleep. I thought of this over and over for 2 hours and then I finally got some fresh air and all was well, kind of.
There are other times as well but those are the two main ones, the ones I'm prepared to talk about anyway. And it's weird because I'd say that in a nightclub I can usually be in my element which is weird because those are probably the most crowded and warmest places you can be besides the world's largest orgy.
I do get these feelings though, when I go out for dinner, I do not care for eating in front of people who are, shall we say significant and by significant I mean I have to make a good impression. Although now I'm a little bit older, I've come to realise that wine is my good friend and should take the nerves off although trying to down a bottle of wine without these people noticing can be difficult. I recommend big glasses.
What makes it worse, is that I become very aware of these situations and I start thinking of all the 'what if's' which being honest probably doesn't help because i'll probably think of the worst one and somehow try and make it happen but at least I know how to act. Usually I was just sick but to make the situation better I started to order cheaper things off the menu, I can't help but kind of laugh now at it all.
Anyhow, the thing I was going to mention earlier about toilets is that for some reason, I find it difficult to piss at a urinal and I haven't got a clue why. I don't have a problem pissing in public as Strathclyde Police will tell you and I don't have a problem getting my banger out. I think my ability to want to strip for no reason other than pretending it's Old School and that we're all going streaking could probably have been the reason why my ex stopped taking me to house parties but I'm not sure about that, hahaha.
If I need to piss when I'm out, given the choice I need to be alone at the urinal or in the cubicle which probably makes me look like I use a lot of coke when I'm out although I have a bladder the size of a....very big animal that doesn't piss a lot. Also, while we're on the subject of cubicles and coke, who's bright idea was it to marry these two together? It's as genius as it is stupid. Sure it's discreet and you can probably take a line at the same speed as you can do a shite but basically what you're doing is this.
You're sticking your nose down a place where some guy's arse was and taking a massive sniff of where people do a shite. It's really a little fucked up.
Driving
So I finally pass my driving test and really I should be thrilled but honestly, I don't think I even really care.
It takes some drivers about 2months to get bored of driving, perhaps even 2 years for others but I seriously reckon it took me a whole of 2 hours to get fed up. It could be that the only car I have access to is slower than a glacier but I don't think that's it.
These are my driving thoughts so far after not even 2 days.
1) Driving alone is really really really lonely. I can sit in my room, even now typing this and not feel alone. But in a car, it's completely different. No msn. No phone. You're basically in a small metal tin that is shut off from the outside world. Although you can sing along to the radio or whatever. One of the greatest joys of being in a car and I suggest everybody try this because you will feel a great deal of satisfaction. If you ever see somebody singing in a car opposite you, flick through the radio station cause if you find the radio station you are singing along too, it will be funny as fuck plus you feel like you deserved it with the little effort you put in.
2) Speeding isn't really that fun. I've been a max of 10mph over the speed limit and even then that was changing lane to make sure I got ahead of a car. Yup, boring.
3) I was feeling quite nervous before my test, I didn't think I was going to pass nor did I think I was going to fail. So I basically very highly recommended by a very sexy lady to take kalms as it 'kalms' your nerves (HAHAHA, GET IT?.......) anyhow, it made me quite relaxed, a little too relaxed, so relaxed infact that I felt really sleepy. Essentially I took a mild form of Valium. Now normally when you're tired it's a weird sensation however when you're barely over an hour from your driving test and you're starting to slouch and get heavy eyes and are too 'kalms' to care, it's a tough situation to be in. Although in retrospect, I think I wouldn't have passed without it plus I think it's a really funny story, haha and not just cause of the 'kalms' joke.
4) Pubs are nae shite when sober. I've been sober in a pub lots, but usually that feeling fades after my second pint (just to point out, I'm not a lightweight, I just start to buzz around this point) so I feel fine. But watching football while drinking, a can of irn bru, a can of redbull, a bottle of water and fresh orange juice was a little bit.....not worth it.
That's my thoughts on driving so far, actually I have another. I fucking hate carrying a passport around for ID, especially when I'm using my old one and I look retarded in it, although it makes me laugh.
Speaking of the football actually, does anybody else think that Christian Dailly could possibly a long lost brother of the Jonas Brothers?
Speaking of the Jonas Brothers, they have a 3d movie coming out but that's not important but what is important is that trailer was on before Monsters Vs Aliens.
Now, I don't laugh in the cinema, as it does my tits in, it really does. Especially when you have to sit near somebody with an annoying laugh, the annoying laugh where it isn't quite funny or so annoying it was funny but now you feel like throwing something off them and popcorn won't do cause it's too light. Skittles might but they're too tasty. Your gigantic cup of fanta would but you only get one shot and if you miss which you easily could cause the thing weighs about 5kg then you're going to look like a right knob. I suggest minstrels, they have a nice weight and are saucer shaped so they'll slice through the air with perfect accuracy.
Anyhow, my main point here is that Monsters Vs Aliens was a shit hot movie and the 3d was amazing. I LOL'd a lot.
It takes some drivers about 2months to get bored of driving, perhaps even 2 years for others but I seriously reckon it took me a whole of 2 hours to get fed up. It could be that the only car I have access to is slower than a glacier but I don't think that's it.
These are my driving thoughts so far after not even 2 days.
1) Driving alone is really really really lonely. I can sit in my room, even now typing this and not feel alone. But in a car, it's completely different. No msn. No phone. You're basically in a small metal tin that is shut off from the outside world. Although you can sing along to the radio or whatever. One of the greatest joys of being in a car and I suggest everybody try this because you will feel a great deal of satisfaction. If you ever see somebody singing in a car opposite you, flick through the radio station cause if you find the radio station you are singing along too, it will be funny as fuck plus you feel like you deserved it with the little effort you put in.
2) Speeding isn't really that fun. I've been a max of 10mph over the speed limit and even then that was changing lane to make sure I got ahead of a car. Yup, boring.
3) I was feeling quite nervous before my test, I didn't think I was going to pass nor did I think I was going to fail. So I basically very highly recommended by a very sexy lady to take kalms as it 'kalms' your nerves (HAHAHA, GET IT?.......) anyhow, it made me quite relaxed, a little too relaxed, so relaxed infact that I felt really sleepy. Essentially I took a mild form of Valium. Now normally when you're tired it's a weird sensation however when you're barely over an hour from your driving test and you're starting to slouch and get heavy eyes and are too 'kalms' to care, it's a tough situation to be in. Although in retrospect, I think I wouldn't have passed without it plus I think it's a really funny story, haha and not just cause of the 'kalms' joke.
4) Pubs are nae shite when sober. I've been sober in a pub lots, but usually that feeling fades after my second pint (just to point out, I'm not a lightweight, I just start to buzz around this point) so I feel fine. But watching football while drinking, a can of irn bru, a can of redbull, a bottle of water and fresh orange juice was a little bit.....not worth it.
That's my thoughts on driving so far, actually I have another. I fucking hate carrying a passport around for ID, especially when I'm using my old one and I look retarded in it, although it makes me laugh.
Speaking of the football actually, does anybody else think that Christian Dailly could possibly a long lost brother of the Jonas Brothers?
Speaking of the Jonas Brothers, they have a 3d movie coming out but that's not important but what is important is that trailer was on before Monsters Vs Aliens.
Now, I don't laugh in the cinema, as it does my tits in, it really does. Especially when you have to sit near somebody with an annoying laugh, the annoying laugh where it isn't quite funny or so annoying it was funny but now you feel like throwing something off them and popcorn won't do cause it's too light. Skittles might but they're too tasty. Your gigantic cup of fanta would but you only get one shot and if you miss which you easily could cause the thing weighs about 5kg then you're going to look like a right knob. I suggest minstrels, they have a nice weight and are saucer shaped so they'll slice through the air with perfect accuracy.
Anyhow, my main point here is that Monsters Vs Aliens was a shit hot movie and the 3d was amazing. I LOL'd a lot.
Wednesday 1 April 2009
Guten tag!
Before I start, I know I haven't posted in a while but work has been jumping and I was in Frankfurt for the weekend there but I shall probably talk about that tomorrow and give my views on the place.
Anyhow, my new fear that i read about today. Female Suicide Bombers.
Not that suicide bombers weren't scary before but you kind of knew where you stood with them, how hard can they be to spot. Dynamite (I assume from the cartoons that I watch, that's how it happens) around the belly should be fairly obvious to notice.
However, woman could easily say they're preggerz and just load up that way and I'm not saying that every Muslim is a terrorist but every terrorists seem to be Muslim, know what I mean? And Mulsim women wear those scary dresses where you can only see their eyes.
Basically what I'm trying to say is, if I ever seen a 'fat' Muslim woman all kitted out in her robes, then yes, I'd be slightly nervous and would probably want to get a safe distance, also known as being outside the blast radius. This may be considered racist but it's more of a public safety message.
I've ate a full pack of milk chocolate digestives today and honestly, it blows my fucking mind that I have managed to put on a stone and a half in the past year, however ironically I don't actually appear to be fatter at all so it's all good and I've eaten a lot of good meals but I did not eat a lot of good meals in Germany as it appeared to all be kebab shops or kebap (lol) shops. I ate 4 kebabs in one day, I don't normally eat them because I don't like them but I doubt I'll ever have one again. Fuck that.
Anyhow, my new fear that i read about today. Female Suicide Bombers.
Not that suicide bombers weren't scary before but you kind of knew where you stood with them, how hard can they be to spot. Dynamite (I assume from the cartoons that I watch, that's how it happens) around the belly should be fairly obvious to notice.
However, woman could easily say they're preggerz and just load up that way and I'm not saying that every Muslim is a terrorist but every terrorists seem to be Muslim, know what I mean? And Mulsim women wear those scary dresses where you can only see their eyes.
Basically what I'm trying to say is, if I ever seen a 'fat' Muslim woman all kitted out in her robes, then yes, I'd be slightly nervous and would probably want to get a safe distance, also known as being outside the blast radius. This may be considered racist but it's more of a public safety message.
I've ate a full pack of milk chocolate digestives today and honestly, it blows my fucking mind that I have managed to put on a stone and a half in the past year, however ironically I don't actually appear to be fatter at all so it's all good and I've eaten a lot of good meals but I did not eat a lot of good meals in Germany as it appeared to all be kebab shops or kebap (lol) shops. I ate 4 kebabs in one day, I don't normally eat them because I don't like them but I doubt I'll ever have one again. Fuck that.
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